


if i was you (i would just love me)

by landfill



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Fusion, Canon Compliant, Light Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 17:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11765025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landfill/pseuds/landfill
Summary: in which minhyun can't take a hint (and maybe, it's better that he keeps pretending not to.)





	if i was you (i would just love me)

**Author's Note:**

> me: i wish seonho could get over minhyun and finally find happiness
> 
> me: i will only write fluff drabbles for him
> 
> also me: this one-sided love is so tragic so let’s put the pain into realisation hahahahaha.
> 
> i’m a fake, sorry seonho, you deserve better child. anyways, the reason this happened was bc of [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7LVQmSA3Ns) and wannaone go ep 2 reigniting the tragic ship that is seonho/minhyun. if it wasn’t obvious already, i was blasting ‘if it was you’ in the bg as i wrote this (it's like 3am wtf am i doing idk) and crying internally (what a masochist, i know) someday, i’ll write seonho the happy fic he deserves. and a proper 10 things i hate about you AU not just this lazy mess gbye.

 

 

> I hate the way you talk to me,
> 
> And the way you pat my hair.

Seonho had watched the previous season of Produce 101. He knows how many talented trainees goes ignored by the masses and Mnet. He also knows, that he falls under the lucky, undeserving group that happened to amass popularity purely by luck. He’s not dumb, he knows how short he falls under almost everyone else with just having 6 month training period under his belt.

But that’s just how reality is, he’s not going to beat himself up over the lack of experience he doesn’t have yet. There’s no point in doing so. On the other hand, there’s the other group of people, that would fall under the category of deserving of popularity like the HOTSHOT hyungs, and the NU’EST quartet but isn’t getting the attention they deserved.

“Trainee Jo Yonggeun’s group,” BoA suddenly announces and startles him out of his train of thoughts. “Will battle against trainee Hwang Minhyun’s group which nobody picked.”

Seonho blinks in succession, taken back by the announcement, and watches as Minhyun’s team walks over and slowly takes their place next his team. Minhyun smiles amiably and fondly greets his team’s leader. Objectively, he’s a dangerous rival to their team but all Seonho notices is how… nice, and warm that crinkled eyesmile is.

 

 

> I hate the way you tilt your head,
> 
> I hate it when you smile.

Nobody knows it yet, he hasn’t even told Guanlin either. But he’d already joined the NU’EST fancafe a few days ago. Even if he did find out, he can’t call Seonho out when he’s equally smitten for the NU’EST hyung as Seonho is. (He’d seen that cut of Guanlin and Dongho on stage, uploaded and gif-ed everywhere so, please.) Jonghyun is, quite literally, the nicest person Seonho has and will ever meet. Dongho is actually a very loyal goofball (Daehwi doesn’t seem to like to talk about him though, he always flushes really weirdly) and Minki is down to earth and plays with him well.

And Minhyun? Seonho doesn’t know how to describe him. Doesn’t know how to describe how he feels whenever he’s with Minhyun.

“Cause I’m a pilot, by your side,” Minhyun sings sweetly, as he reads the lyrics off the screen. “I’ll give you all the stars, my galaxy.”

Perhaps it was in this moment, Seonho realises, that the feeling he’s harbouring might be equivalent to wanting to give Minhyun all the stars in the galaxy as well.

 

 

> I hate your perfect voice hyung,
> 
> And the way you keep me close.

“Hyung, hug me.”

“What? Seonho don’t—” Minhyun grunts, catching him anyways despite protests. He clings onto to the older’s body as tightly as he could but Minhyun lets him go first after a few pats on the back. He doesn’t think much of it. He tries not to think much of it. Because that only acknowledges what he’s afraid to admit.

This is, after all, the game that he plays. (And the collateral token is, of course, his own heart.)

“Move over,” he says, and barely gives Minhyun any time to react or adjust before he’s squeezing himself onto the seat. He knows he’s petty, interrupting Minhyun’s conversation with Seongwoo like that. He doesn’t feel threatened, but he admits he’s petty. Frankly speaking, he doesn’t care about the eyes and whispers lingering around him. Not when Minhyun’s arm is around his frame and shoulders feels nice enough to sink into.

(Sinking. Like mad sailors who sailed to sirens willingly. Sinking is exactly what he’s doing.)

 

 

> I hate you so much that it makes me mad,
> 
> It even makes me rhyme.

“Minhyun-ssi said you always ask him to hug you.”

“Ah, that’s right.” He recollects, looking into the camera as he prepares to vent his frustrations. “I ask you to hug me, but you don’t hug me now,” Seonho sulks. “You used to hug me a lot before.”

“He said your love is tiring.”

“Wow,” Seonho feigns surprise. Plays it up for laughs because that’s what they want for the camera. Pretend like he hadn’t noticed Minhyun trying to put distance between them. Pretend like it doesn’t affect him anymore than it should. “A person can’t just change like this.”

 

 

> I hate the way you're always right,
> 
> I hate it when you lie.

“Tomorrow’s the last broadcast, how do you feel?” Minhyun asks and Seonho pauses for a moment. He feels a lot of things. He feels too many things. Minhyun teases him for being young but he’s no longer young enough to not know what he can and can’t say. Especially on camera.

“Hyung, I can’t see you anymore?” He asks instead, letting the possible reality of his words sink in. He’s not pessimistic. He believes in miracles too. He just doesn’t think one is going to happen to him, not tomorrow at least.

“What do you mean you can’t see me anymore, of course you can,” Minhyun immediately reassures him, adding promises of meat but it’s the implication behind it that really comforts Seonho. ‘We’ll definitely meet again’ is what Seonho hears. Even if it’s just empty promises in the end, that’s all Seonho needs.

 

 

> I hate it when you make me laugh,
> 
> Even worse when you make me cry.

_This is the last_. Is all he can think about. The last episode. The last broadcast. The last song. The last stage. Standing here, in this moment, brings back all the memories they’ve been through together. The auditions, tense and awkward. The placements, pressuring and confronting. The practices, rolled into late nights stretches and encouragements. The dorms, filled with sleepless excitement and bonding over their shared struggles, dreams, wishes. The performances, fruition of all their hard work and talents. It’s all ending soon, and Seonho can’t help but feel like crying at the thoughts.

This is the last, but it’s also a beginning. There are many waiting for him to succeed; it’s not the end yet. So he tries to hold the tears back and pull through.

“Always with you, here at this place.” He hears Minhyun sings, he hears Minhyun’s voice, and his lips tremble too much to hold back a sob. Because Minhyun is right there, within his sight. Minhyun has always been within his sight.

But he doesn’t know if that’s still possible once this stage ends.

 

 

> I hate the way you're not around,
> 
> And the fact that you didn't call.

The last time he received a reply to his text was two days ago. The last time he heard Minhyun’s voice (binge watching past NU’EST clips on Naver doesn’t count shut up) was a week? He knows it’s not Minhyun’s fault. He’s busy now, popular — like the rest of NU’EST. The public has finally opened their eyes and Seonho’s happy they did. Happy of the flower road they’re all walking on.

(But some small part inside of him, ugly and twisted and tiny, still yearns for the day when he could walk down the hall and barge into Minhyun’s room with ease. When he could peek into the practice room and wait for them to finish before running in, and jump on Minhyun’s back.)

> Seonho: i miss u all, hyung  
>  Minki: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ don’t lie. i know who u really miss  
>  Minki: he misses you too, you know that right?

_He misses you too, you know that right?_ Seonho reads one more time, eyes lingering on every stroke and syllable, and tries not to doubt Minki’s words.

(But it’s hard to. It’s really hard to.)

 

 

> But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,

The first person Seonho sees when he opens the call, is Minhyun (and Jaehwan), and he’s not composed enough to pretend that he isn’t completely elated. “Hyung!”

Out of the corner of his eyes, he can notice how eager everyone else is to jump in and say a word as well (especially Minki) but they don’t, in order to maintain the surprise. (Which is why he’s the one making the call, because if they’re looking for a semblance of self control from Seonho when it involves Minhyun. They might as well give up.)

“I’m on my way to see you!” he says. Minhyun’s pleasantly surprised (he hopes) at this. Regardless of his reaction, that had never stopped Seonho (and it never will).  

“Hyung, cook meat and omurice for me.”

“This kid eats a lot, we need to make a lot,” he hears Minhyun tells Jaehwan. Seonho can’t help it when his cheeks rises even further at the thought of Minhyun cooking for him.

“Firstly, just make a lot of everything, I’ll eat it all!”

 

 

> Not even close, not even a little bit,

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t notice the ridiculous red rope linking Minhyun’s and Jaehwan’s wrist. He’s not dumb enough to not know what it implies, he’s also not dumb enough to not figure out it’s probably tied (hehehe pun intended) to some ridiculous mission on this show.

But he’s also not mature enough to ignore it. He’s not mature enough to pretend like he doesn’t notice the nonexistent gap between Minhyun and Jaehwan. He’s not mature enough to pretend like he isn’t sad thinking about how that was his spot once upon a time. He’s also not mature enough to pretend like he doesn’t notice how affectionate they are together, how easily he makes Minhyun laughs, how easily Minhyun rests his head on Jaehwan’s shoulder.

So it comes out of impulse really, when he finally points to the ties pooling between Minhyun’s and Jaehwan’s lap. “I want to be tied too”

Minhyun looks at him, and doesn’t miss a beat. “You want to be tied with me?”

“Yes, I’m a little envious of this,” Seonho admits, unabashed as always, and returns Minhyun’s overbearing gaze. Not all high school boys blush and admit embarrassment in front of their crush. The moment doesn’t last anyways, when Minki lightly swats his shoulder and they laugh it off with everyone. Because it’s a joke. And jokes are meant to be funny.

(And even if he wasn’t joking, it wouldn’t have mattered. Because Minhyun can’t take a hint. At least, that’s what Seonho prefers to think. It’s better this way, for them to continue this charade. Like Seonho doesn’t bare the heart on his sleeve for the world to see. So that they can still joke around like this, as if they were back on that show as trainees.)

(Even if it’s all a lie.)

 

 

> Not even at all.

(He’s fine with it.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> hahahahaha i can't write angst and emotions to save my life why did i even bother.


End file.
